Better You Than Me

Happy Holidays! Blog is on a bit of a hiatus due to the following: HOLIDAY TO COSTA RICA!!!

Major essay worth 45%

Three upcoming articles to write.

But most importantly--no internet access during holidays except to write aforementioned essay! Woo hoo!!

In other news, it is absolutely beastly outside. How does a mind-numbing -30 something suit you? Yeah, it blows. And it seems to have a numbing effect on people's already-feeble brains. I had two ''parking so close I had to sideways-limbo-squeeze into my frickin drivers side'' incidents, one right after another, this morning. In one of them the wingbat morons were IN THEIR CAR STILL RUNNING and observed me trying to squeeze myself into my car. For good measure, I hit their minivan with my arm a few times, and then banged it with my car door. Take that, too-close morons!

It felt pretty good, you know, with the cold biting my face off and then the added injustice of not being able to squash myself into my car. So, be forewarned. If you insist on sitting in your running car watching me attempting to get into mine because you parked stupidly close, I will conduct some sort of angry damage.

I also gave them the serious evil-eye when I was walking by, and when all you can see are my eyes, they are very, very evil.

Ah, I need a holiday. This just slams the lid on it!

Something's Still Gone Wrong

I read the Globe & Mail on a daily basis, and follow stories of domestic abuse regularly, as they are sadly common. The problem is that they are under-represented in almost every form of media, and violence against women is glamourized. I feel that we haven't done enough if partners committing violence still get away with it, and it's still handled as a 'private affair' or some such nonsense.

Even commentaries on news stories tells a terrible tale--men believe themselves to be the victims, and that women ask for it or instigate or cause it. Any way you slice it, women are the problem and men are the helpless, if stronger and more violent, ''victims''. Even when women lash out and murder in self-defence they are still charged more stringently than men who kill their partners. When women refuse to leave abusive partners or protect them, this is used to show how they were never 'really' abused anyways.

This disregards the tormented psyche of abused women, and how it can warp a sense of safety. Many times women do not leave because of threats against their families and friends, not because they love their abusers.

See below comment on a particularly terrible case of domestic abuse: The husband murdered his entire family, and this commentator feels the need to step on his ridiculous high horse and lambaste women for 'causing most of the problems.' Riiiiight.

**********Commentary*********************
In 2007, police across Canada dealt with more than 40,000 incidents of spousal violence – an estimated one-third of the actual number of incidents,=================

Actually its closer to two-thirds with men predominately the non-reporters. Manly because there are no programs to help male battered spouses, far from help as many will say.Ending Violence Association appears more to wish to end a mans ability to defend against spousal assault. With equality the catch phrase of the day why, or how, could they ask for the whole $47M when there isn`t a single safe house or program or government agency that will help male victims.

As the majority of DV is started by the women {emphasis mine. WTF} I can`t imagine the lions share not going to defend the largest group of victims that have nothing as it currently stands.Seems this must be something other than ending violence.

**********
Sure it is. This is exactly the prevailing attitude that gets families and women murdered in their homes by men they know and loved at some point. This is still why equality is a foreign concept.

As If You'd Done It Yourself

I was pondering this ethical question yesterday after an incident. If something happens (bad) and you are a bystander who doesn't do or say anything, are you just as responsible? What if you consider the bad situation as 'normal' or 'good'? Are you still morally reprehensible?

I was at the gym the other day and saw out of the corner of my jaundiced eye a former co-irker at a job that, to mince words, went very poorly due to some terrible behaviour of the boss. The co-irker was a nice enough person who absolutely didn't see anything wrong with the boss's treating us like shit. Therein lies the problem--if they don't see an issue, is there one really?

I guess it helped that the boss and co-irker got along fabulously and would have weekend plans together, special meetings w/o the rest of the sad chain gang and got all sorts of great favours. New computers, nice wall art, an office specially built...Oh, the mismanagement of government funds went a long way to give the 'favoured few' some great treats!

Back to the gym. I did the only mature thing I could. Completely ignored the co-irker and pretended I didn't see them. The other thing I wanted to do was give them the finger as I walked by, but it was relatively busy and others might misinterpret this as a gesture to them. And that would be tragic. So, I limit my bad behaviour to giving the building the finger when I drive by. It feels cathartic. Oh and badmouthing them every chance I get. Take that!

I guess it's just this holiday feeling I get, where I want to get all vendetta-ish on the assholes from prior jobs. Gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside...

Too Good To Be True!

From the Globe and Mail- related to a reader's question, but I just loved his response so much I had to copy/paste it. SO funny!
************************************************
Ah, your question brings me back to my youth – when I actually liked people and wanted to hang out with them.
Now that I'm in my 40s I've decided, with a few exceptions, I hate everyone. And I find most social gatherings to be little more than zinger- and faux-pas-filled festivals of irritation and annoyance.
And so I avoid them. These days, I mostly concentrate on my work and my family, and spend what little free time I have moodily staring into the fire in the living room of my gloomy mansion, sipping bourbon and muttering misanthropic aphorisms to myself, e.g. Jean-Paul Sartre's famous dictum, “Hell is other people.”
(Next inevitable phase: me in tattered bathrobe and ratty slippers, standing on my front porch, bandy, fish-white legs gleaming in the sunshine, shaking my fist at some kids whose baseball landed in my begonias.)

But back in the day I was a social butterfly nonpareil...
************
Reminds me of the social anxiety I felt living back in'res' again, and trying to make lasting connections. I didn't, but I did make a variety of surface-level shallow connections. Apparently I am best at that, skirting the top of the pool of friendships, making friends of a great variety but at best, very shallow level.

A Paradigm A Day?

Wish it would keep the Dr. away, instead of keeping me up at night worrying about that damned deductivist paradigm, and where is that dratted hypothesis?

To top it off, I even do have to go to the Dr's again, and I'm concerned that my poor ear will have to be subjected to that heinous water torture (see previous spring, ear blasted with water to remove hideous blockage-causing infection). So yeah, it's not keeping the Dr's away and not helping me sleep either. Why am I in school again?

I'm even going on a small vacation with the partner and it's seeming like a menage a trois, me, him and the laptop. Ah Christmas, you can't come soon enough...But then those paper deadlines will and yeah those can certainly wait! Bit of a double-edged sword.

In other news, I am rather touched when I find out that when I am away, people genuinely miss me. Do I really make that kind of positve impact on friends, co-workers (co-irkers? nah, love 'em!) Makes me happy, and I even recieved a gift of wonderful Lindt chocolate today, and was asked by satellite office when would I be in to give everyone an update?? Ah, the caring touches my hardened heart!

Win-win

So I'm back in the frigid north, and man it is a cruel awakening.

I would like it here if it just.weren't.so.damn.cold~~~ !!! Otherwise, my job is still ok, my house is still standing due to the care of a dear friend, and my rabbit is still giving me the cold shoulder. He was hopping around last night, visiting with my suitcase and packing stuff, and then spent the entire night sitting behind a chair, like a malevolent shadow. I seriously couldn't find him because I thought his grey shape was a shadow. Haha.

It's dark when I go to work and dark when I leave. Argh. I am trying to stave off the impending madness by being incredibly busy, and so far (day 3 of being back) it is sort of working. Well, the holidays are coming, I have 5 major papers to write, so what are my excuses?

It's supposed to be -25/-30 this weekend. Jeebus save us.

The more things change...

The more they stay the same?

I'm back in residences, living the student life for a brief chunk of time. And as always, observing the hilarity that is human nature. Case in point: I've met tons of great people and they are super interesting, but I've also had the chance to see flirtations gone awry.

A girl (Katie) was flirting with a guy in our classes, both lived on my floor in res, and please note that there are limited guys in our program--like 7 out of 50, and some are definitely over 50 themselves. This guy (Ed) was a bit older, around 30, I gathered, dressed suspiciously nicely for a dude, quiet etc.

I noticed their interactions throughout the week, a bit of closeness here and there, hanging out together, sitting together in class--all that fun stuff. Then I was sitting and watching TV in our lounge when Katie comes in chatting with another classmate about Ed, and how they were flirting and he took it to mean seriousness! and promptly got cold feet, didn't want to pursue things after res, etc etc. She said she was not serious, and forget it, let's just be friends. And then mentioned that he asked her to hang out more afterwards, like the pressure had been taken off or something like that. Also that a girl from the other classes seemed to be interested in him, and he wasn't dissuading her of that notion, and that pissed Katie off. Why fight for a guy who doesn't care?

I wasn't really listening, but being in proximity couldn't help it. They leave, I continued watching TV and guess who comes in with a different girl? Why, Ed!

We had a party on the weekend, and yes, guess who comes? Everyone from our little drama triangle, Ed, Katie, mystery girl. Katie leaves early. No surprise there!

As a keen observer of human nature, I found this very interesting. Interpersonal communications never seem to tell the whole story!

Everyone In Our Group Has Blue Eyes

Classes are winding down for our residency, and as we sat through yet another 3-hr class, I couldn't help but think: boring, and I am going to seriously miss this.

I even bought a weird muffin for too much money because I was tired and thought it might help me and maybe stop my strangely loud stomach grumblings. Note-I do eat breakfast, and the biggest guy in the class's stomach did not grumble, it was mine!

The class took a turn for the serious and emotional. Our theory professor had attended the 'I have a dream' speech by Martin Luther King, and he spoke on that for a bit, relating it to various theories we studied. He talked about how powerful it was, and how nobody knows what is going to make history until we're studying it in a Canadian classroom 30 some years later. He even choked up a bit, and it got emotional.

What was also sad was he mentioned how he wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be teaching, jokingly saying he wasn't getting any younger, but it was more than that. A significant other was seriously ill with a relapse, and things were not looking good.

Everyone stood up and gave our professor a standing applause, and it was just such a heartfelt moment. A strong way to end the class, and it also made me very sad. I'm going to miss being here.

Trainwrecks!

I have been on a bit of a hiatus, due to a bigtime change of scenery. I am now in my beloved homeland, the balmy waters of Victoria. Also going to school. Not so beloved, but very interesting and challenging.

With school comes an interesting mix of the overachievers (and don't get me wrong, that can be stimulating, but they are ALL keeners) and like me, the people who are on the fringes just soaking it all up. It's great, and very cool to be back in the nerd environment again, with nerds. Which brings me to the trainwreck point of this-- due to immersion in crazy-intense theory, I have now coined a term of my very own, which can be used in a communications theory, I'm thinking something like semiotics, but hey, whatever works best for you/.

I have invented 'railroad talkers' those lovely people who just. don't. know. when. to. shut. up. !!! I have now run into at least two confirmed, but I know more are lurking in the murky realm of academia. They go on and on and on and on and on and you're starting to ...walk away...and they...follow you into the...hallway; to continue their point. And it's never your point. It's theirs. And don't you forget it....down the hallway...into the washroom...

As a fellow conversationist, and I like to think of myself as a witty one, I just can't stand it! I hate getting 'railroaded' over by these lousy talkers. Great thinkers, yes they may be for sure, but would it kill you to put a sock in it? How are you still breathing? Heaven forbid someone get a word in edgeways--just keep going, chuggin' along, they think you'll give up soon enough and can steam away full speed ahead!

I accidentally started a conversation with one I didn't know was a railroad talker. One simple question by me: Why this program? And fuck. I avoided this person for the rest of the freaking night. I was also able to witness a hilarious moment- the trainwreck! When two railroad talkers clash!! Oh, the drama!

They can't stand each other. Also bitch about how they just can't get a word in edgeways, and man, doesn't that person just talk so much? It's crazy! (And they are JUST as guilty. ha ha)
How "interesting" and yes, ironical use of quotations.

Be aware, dear people, if your conversation is going nowhere fast, stop. Just wrap it up. People love concise, witty and to the point. Good rule--if it's very personal, intimate or details about your day that nobody gives a shit, then nobody gives a shit. Don't!
(For significant others, this does not apply. Bore away~)