Amusing Events of Today

Random amusing events of today:

Meeting #2 in the boardroom this morning, someone almost sat on a banana. It was apparently left on one of the boardroom chairs…she pulled it out and was like whoah, almost sat on it! Then someone was like, hey Lauren was looking for that. Yes, someone was asking around if anyone had ‘seen her banana’…which was left in the boardroom on a chair. HAHAAH

Then, I went to do stairs at lunch and some punk spraypainted orange on the green stairs. Ugly but whatever… I run into an acquiantence, who doesn’t usually do stair Thu. I was like, oh why are you doing stairs today?

Turns out their friend, who also does stairs, happens to be a vigilante citizen graffiti cover-upper, who was out spray-painting over the orange with gold spraypaint…And she is like over 50 years old, granny type. Haha. She tells me she had problems with graffiti on a shed, so she put a magnet of a saint on the shed. Lasted two yrs until someone stole the magnet. She replaced that magnet with one of the Virgin Mary.

Nobody has messed with that. Ever.

What's with girls named Summer?

I have been watching the O.C. (so sue me, I don't have any cable and need something to watch!) and Summer, one of the main characters, is a flighty little witchy woman. She's super cute and awesome, and it made me wonder two things:

Why are flighty, capricious, beautiful women always named "Summer"? Eg 500 days of Summer, Summer Wheatley in Napoleon Dynamite, Summer in the OC...

Also, why does everyone always sing about California? Eg Hotel California, California, by Phantom Planet, even that duo 'Wave' sang about California...

Those are my musings of the moment...I actually had a few things I wanted to write about but got ran over by a series of unfortunate Tuesdays, of which I am still recovering from. Until next time...

Cosmos sending a message

So, I have kept a running tally of the strange coincidences (existential investigators, are you hearing this??) that have occurred to me over the past two years. Now, these may sound mundane and ordinary, but I have a feeling these are no ordinary coincidences! Yes, it is clearly the cosmos sending me a message, of what I have yet to interpret/decipher but I will get there one day...

To tally up the coincidences:

I found a clipboard written with "property of (persons name)" ...and I had just gotten an email from my then-new job, sadly telling of the death of that very same person that day! I put the clipboard back, I didn't want to tempt fates.

The second is more mundane and less dangerous. I was taking the bus, on a route I never usually take because I drive to work. I was carrying my gym clothes to and from work, and one day found my gym socks lying on the side of the path I was walking to the bus. Odd, they must have fallen out. I picked them up a bit abashedly and continued on the way. When I got home, I found my actual gym socks--they'd never even left the house! I had picked up a pair of socks that looked exactly the same, and these weren't white gym socks, they were bizarre blue fuzzy pink and white argyle socks. One of a kind.

The third coincidence was a book. This past weekend I was talking up a book, The Glass Castle,by Jeanette Walls (great book, by the way. So powerful!), and I mentioned that a friend had it, and maybe I could borrow it to lend to her. I was looking forward to sharing thoughts about the book with my friend. We set out downtown that afternoon to do some shopping, and stopped by to drop off recycling at Raven Recycling. I browsed the free store for books, and lo and behold, there sat The Glass Castle. It was fate! I snatched it up and gave it to my friend. But still, this isn't the type of book that is just everywhere, like say, A Million Little Pieces or something. It is hard to find, and you have to seek it out. And there it was, waiting for me to give to my friend, who I'd been talking to about it.

Clearly there is a larger message in the works here. What can these coincidences mean?

The Most Unhealthy/Awesome/Gross Desserts Money Can Buy

I found this one on Jezebel, who found it on The Daily Beast. I kind of want to do a tour of these fantastically fattening desserts. Whoever coined the term 'just desserts' really meant what they were talking about...

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-06-07/40-desserts-that-can-kill-you/

These desserts make Dairy Queen milkshakes look like diet food at 700+ calories. Eeep.

Gasp Splutter Intelligible Choking noises

This has not been my week. I actually had quite the inner dialogue leading up to this blog post, that went something like, should I label this blog St. Susan, Martyr of the World? Or maybe, the Existential Struggle of Susan, something really dramatic to capture the essence of my emotions.\

Yes, this has been a heavy week indeed. Existential struggle, choking rage, oh they all go together so well, don't they. I can divide this week into two struggles: job, and life. Let's start with job.

Job: Tuesday I decided I hated what I do. More specifically, I hate the assistant part of what I do. The communication part I really quite enjoy. I rather enjoyed the 'ass'istant part until it dawned on me in a big hurry Tuesday that I NEVER WANT TO BE AN ASSISANT AGAIN. It may have been the 'helpful' snarky email from some co-irker who rescheduled a meeting three times, and then politely declined my 4th rescheduling with a suggestion to 'use Outlook' to see when their schedule was open. Ohh...right. Oh, thank you. My goodness, and here I'd been using an abacus and fucking magic ball to divine your ever-changing availability. Oh riiighht...

And then another request from another person (they are all nice people, not assholes) who had some things that needed to be created RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!! And was not taking my ''well, I have to be at -comm job--this afternoon, and am away at at 2 day meeting this week'' very well at all. It has to be done by this Friday!!!

So, guess who pulls time out of her ass to juggle this, the more important job, and oh, the printer's not working, call IT and ask them to fix it, explain what is happening to my print job, print stuff for them even though it wasn't MY print job that was screwing up, and by the way, I still need those things for FRIDAY!!!

Cue emphatic sigh. Actually, I thought I was going to grab my monitor and smash it into the ground. Normally these sort of things, in what is a usually respectful workplace, don't phase me. I can't figure out why I am SO FUCKING IRRITATED by it currently.
My pet theory; I am achingly ambitious, need/want/desire to be recognized for my skillset rather than having two hands, sort-of brain and eyeballs. Jobs that do not fulfill this need get resented very quickly...

Whatever happened to eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? Why can't I be happy printing labels? Photocopying? Opening mail? Creating binders? Buying supplies? Why do I want to scream an endless ranting scream when I think of a lifetime of that. It feels like hell & purgatory combined. I know people who are what I am and are relatively happy, sure they get pissed off, but not the bottomless pit of despair I get when I realize: is this all? We've been sold a cheap bill of sale, and I want to be needed for my smarts, not my 'good work ethic'.

A piece of my soul dies whenever I am referred to as an administrative assistant. I never want this said about me, "Oh, Susan? Yes she's our go-to girl. Works at the front desk in reception." Yes in the beginning this was fine, until I was beginning to claw my way up. But every time I hear this, I hear good worker going nowhere not sharp thinker, ambitious,

Ok, moving on to the life conundrum. Can I sum it up?
Husband absent, horse life sucks, school work getting increasingly edgy, computer crashed and I am fighting with a new one with an imminent paper due, two freelance writing jobs. Oh, and I have begun stress eating and stress running. I hope they balance each other out.

Sometimes it's hard to breathe under the crushing weight of (my?) expectations.