Is This The Life Worth Living?

Went on a totally exhilarating trail ride the other day that made me totally forget all my stressors, life stressors, job stress. It was fantastic, we galloped over hills, slid down steep inclines and raced each other. I drew the line when my friend wanted to gallop up an incredibly steep hill, about .5km long and as steep as a black diamond ski hill. I said 'no way' and that I'd ski down it but not ride up or down, yikes, did she have a death wish?

If she went back and galloped up it, I'd go watch though--it was that awesome. Cleared my brain of work issues (newbie, always hard) and life probs (is this what I want to do with myself?).

I think everyone needs something they can do that relieves their brains of thinking, thinking, thinking about themselves all the time. For me, horseback riding provides that respite. I don't need to think about tomorrow, or what's for dinner, or why my partner has anxiety attacks. It doesn't matter anymore, nothing does except the amazing freedom of galloping across country. I used to be afraid of some trail rides, as I grew up a show-ring rider and never had the opportunity to go wild on the trail, like some heathen child. I am riding a great horse, who listens to me even when we are slanted sideways on a steep dirt path, one stirrup hanging off her side. She knows when to push the envelope with me, galloping up a hill, me losing my stirrup and her deciding it's a fine time to keep cantering and run me through a hefty branch, my foot still wiggling for my stirrup. My friend laughed and laughed after I spluttered curses and yanked her to a stop. I'm not usually rough, but hey, enough's enough.

I like sharing horses, because I want something that brings such joy to my life to bring it to others. My partner doesn't really share this need, something I'm trying to break him of. Life feels sepia-tinted and grey when I am not riding. I need it to bring colour and excitement, the kind of thrill that drinking, partying and working out provides but so much more.

After a great ride, everything in my life feels resolved. It's totally not, and things still lurk under the surface, but after a good time in the saddle (not dirty) I feel accomplished and proud. I can handle it, if I can handle a 1,000 beast.

The issues are still there, and hell, even horses provide their own brand of drama, usually the crazy horse people. But they, like life problems, will always exist. At some point you have to own the life you live, and gallop on.