You are What You...Eat?

I always thought that saying was pretty stupid, but I've been considering food more often. I think it is starting to become a preoccupation, albeit an odd one. I read cookbooks but hate cooking, I like investigating interesting food scandals/GMO stuff/the continuing war of organic vs nonorganic, 'the food swindles' etc but really don't like grocery shopping.

To combat my grocery malaise, I wrote out a list of foods and meals I like to eat. Now this may sound ridiculous, but honestly, it helps a lot. For example, I know I like to eat chicken, yams, shrimps, spinach et al, so when I go grocery shopping, I try to think of that meal and what I've got written down goes into my basket. I am also attempting to encourage healthy eating for myself, so I buy as many produce items as I can to incorporate into a meal. Bonus-the more the food will go bad, the faster you are motivated to create a meal with it!

So, laugh all you want at my food strategy, but I think it works. I still tend to obsess over food though... Hmmm.

Related but not that related--there is a genetically modified flax seed (GMO) called Triffid. HA haha...proof that some scientists have a sense of humour. Triffid was developed in the 1990s at the University of Saskatchewan and named after the flesh-eating plants featured in John Wyndham's 1951 novel, The Day of the Triffids. (CBC news story)

New York, New York

I am heading on a mom-daughter-grandmother-second cousin-relative I barely know and have never met- shopping trip to NY NY in April. I can't wait!

It may involve some uneasy bonding with my sister and my mom, which is always a hit-or-miss scenario in the best of cases, but hey, it's New York.

We are considering going shopping on Canal Street for knockoff designer purses, going to see the Jersey Boys show (tix run from $100-$500-this better be one hell of a show) and going up the Empire State building. I plan on doing a lot of browing and a bit of shopping, and our boutique hotel looks faaabulous! Woo hoo!

I haven't been to NY since I was 12 or so, but it was extremely intimidating and glamorous then, I can't imagine how much more intimidating it could get. Sex and the City, I am taking notes from you and your ridiculously awful fashion sense. I can get wear out of the more unique items of clothing in my closet, yesss.

April, you can't come soon enough! Please note, last time I was there the Twin Towers were still standing, albeit shakily from a recent bomb attack. Now they're not there at all! How things change...

Shadow-Joy

Schadenfrude, or 'shadow joy' is when we feel happier about our own lives when we hear about how terrible others are. Not really awful, like what is happening in Haiti, but just not as good as our own. It's our sneaky secret.

There are entire websites dedicated to revealing misfortunes to the joy and delight of the internet public. Sites like Fail My Life or My Life is Average, STFU parents and STFU marrieds, Lamebook... They go on and on.

When something reasonably bad happens to someone who is constantly on your case, and you feel great joy at their 'comeuppance' yep, that is schadenfreude. I have my own shadow joy story--involving the workplace, of course. I sent out a mass email to correct a date. Then I get a lovely person who seems nice but on occasion has been rather nasty sending a 'reply all' to my email and snottily informing me that my date was wrong.

Then I got an email recall. HER date was wrong, and she, in her haste to inform everyone how wrong I was, had sent her wrong date to absolutely everyone. HA HA HA. Yes, some may call it Karma, but I call it schadenfreude. Also people were commenting about her, like what date is she looking at?? Silly workplace politics.

Have we become addicted to that feeling? My life isn't so bad, look at so-and-so's? It makes us feel better in a way nothing else can.

Validation-Seeking Machine

I'm back in school, and back to writing articles. That means every time I check my email (compulsively) I am either overjoyed or plunged into irritation or merely ambivalent. I write articles for two reasons: 1. money, 2. validation that I am a good enough writer. I am also in school for two reasons: 1. to prove to myself that I can do it, 2. to eventually get a job where I make lots of money and enjoy myself.

I just got a great mark back from a very hardass prof yesterday-80% woo hoo! And at the same time got yet another scolding from an annoyed editor at my sloppiness--oh heavens, I forgot an apostrophe on purpose for a proper name because I didn't think it looked right! I am the worst writer ever! Grrrrrrrrrr. Guess which tried to ruin my day?

Whether we're aware of it or not, we all seem to seek external validation for simply 'being.' Being pretty, being a hard worker, getting up in the morning, going to work...It all seems pretty useless until someone notices you and says, "Hey I like your outfit," or "I think you're a good writer." I have a sneaking suspicion this is why I got married--what better than a guy who tells you how beautiful and how smart you are everyday, easy access?

(Note-he revised his gratuitous flattery after reading that constantly complimenting women on their looks alone is counter-intuitive to their self esteem. Now he does both: compliments based on looks, as well as flattering my sharp mind. Score!)

I also have a feeling this is why we go to dance clubs, proceed to get simultaneously annoyed and gratified when guys hit on us. It's extremely flattering but annoying, and when the alternative happens and no guys hits on us, it feels really odd. Validation for our existence is a tricky, tricky thing. I wonder if guys feel like this too?

Something to ponder...Up next, we explore schadenfreude!

Back from Paradise

And man, is it rough.

Sorry blog, serious hiatus while I gathered my frost-bitten brain together. To recap: School in Nov/Dec was hardcore, vacation in Dec to Costa Rica was awesome, and now Jan with school on a 1-week break after the hardcore-ness is great, but everything else is freezing and busy.

Costa Rica, specificially the Guanacaste region, is really neat. I never expected to see cacti in the jungle, or go trail riding and have a near-miss with a frightening Tim-Burtonesque spiky tree that looks like it would love to have your skin or eyeballs.

Yeah that trail ride was interesting all right... The horses were skinny, poor things, and a girl on the trail ride was wearing a bikini, jean cutoffs and flip flops. For HORSEBACK riding.??? I was at least wearing a tank top and capris and runners. No helmets, and let me tell you, this was no touristy amble on the beach. It was a crazy scramble up a mountain in a remote and poor area of Guanacaste, and then a harrowing trip down.

It was very hot, and my scrawny horse had to take several breaks. He also demonstrated some questionable judgement when negotiating a 4-ft dropoff with a cliff on one side and some boulders on the other. He tried to climb the boulders down. I grabbed up the reins and guided to a safer, if still hairy, path. Yeah, not a trail ride for the weak-willed! My husband said it was more 'technical' than he was comfortable with. Yes, I'd say it was.

We went snorkeling and saw a great variety of sea creatures, and I got bit a lot by random sea-things. I really wanted to see an octopus, but no luck, just clownfish, a sea snake, a ray and porcupine fish, which our quick-moving guide grabbed and held for us to see. Neat!

The food was so good, good enough to make me angry at my jeans in January. Lots of ethnic varieties, fried plantains, tamales, fish (snapper and tilapia), rice & beans, steaks night...Ahh, loved it!

The only annoying part was the garbagey tourists. Hogging deck chairs by putting your towel on it and then leaving to go to breakfast, your room, whatever is RUDE. I swear, there were like 10 ppl in the pool and all the deck chairs were taken. Rude asses. Also, please don't talk about how you were so happy to get chicken nuggets and fries at Playa del Coco when they were selling Mahi Mahi as the catch of the day for $10. That is a $30 plate anywhere else. JESUS.

Also cool? Iguanas scuttling out of the bushes everywhere! And they were big suckers (to me), 1-2ft long, some had that spiked fan going along their back. Interesting fact, if you get too close the 'warn' you off by nodding their head. Get closer, and they whip you with their tails, and it can really hurt. Not that I did that, but I got the head-nodding and backed right off.

I also liked practicing Spanish, and Costa Ricans were quite welcoming and would ask me if I knew Spanish (I don't, I know about 5 words, but by damn, I use those 5 words every time I can!). Unlike the touristas who were like, I want a beer. Blahh...

We also knocked down coconuts from an abandoned structure on the beach and bashed them open, Lord of the Flies style, to get at the sweet, sweet milk within.

I could go on, and on about Costa Rica. Cool place, getting more touristy by the day, but go. People live in shacks and drive nice cars, swanky new buildings on crumbling cement...A city of contrast.

Better You Than Me

Happy Holidays! Blog is on a bit of a hiatus due to the following: HOLIDAY TO COSTA RICA!!!

Major essay worth 45%

Three upcoming articles to write.

But most importantly--no internet access during holidays except to write aforementioned essay! Woo hoo!!

In other news, it is absolutely beastly outside. How does a mind-numbing -30 something suit you? Yeah, it blows. And it seems to have a numbing effect on people's already-feeble brains. I had two ''parking so close I had to sideways-limbo-squeeze into my frickin drivers side'' incidents, one right after another, this morning. In one of them the wingbat morons were IN THEIR CAR STILL RUNNING and observed me trying to squeeze myself into my car. For good measure, I hit their minivan with my arm a few times, and then banged it with my car door. Take that, too-close morons!

It felt pretty good, you know, with the cold biting my face off and then the added injustice of not being able to squash myself into my car. So, be forewarned. If you insist on sitting in your running car watching me attempting to get into mine because you parked stupidly close, I will conduct some sort of angry damage.

I also gave them the serious evil-eye when I was walking by, and when all you can see are my eyes, they are very, very evil.

Ah, I need a holiday. This just slams the lid on it!

Something's Still Gone Wrong

I read the Globe & Mail on a daily basis, and follow stories of domestic abuse regularly, as they are sadly common. The problem is that they are under-represented in almost every form of media, and violence against women is glamourized. I feel that we haven't done enough if partners committing violence still get away with it, and it's still handled as a 'private affair' or some such nonsense.

Even commentaries on news stories tells a terrible tale--men believe themselves to be the victims, and that women ask for it or instigate or cause it. Any way you slice it, women are the problem and men are the helpless, if stronger and more violent, ''victims''. Even when women lash out and murder in self-defence they are still charged more stringently than men who kill their partners. When women refuse to leave abusive partners or protect them, this is used to show how they were never 'really' abused anyways.

This disregards the tormented psyche of abused women, and how it can warp a sense of safety. Many times women do not leave because of threats against their families and friends, not because they love their abusers.

See below comment on a particularly terrible case of domestic abuse: The husband murdered his entire family, and this commentator feels the need to step on his ridiculous high horse and lambaste women for 'causing most of the problems.' Riiiiight.

**********Commentary*********************
In 2007, police across Canada dealt with more than 40,000 incidents of spousal violence – an estimated one-third of the actual number of incidents,=================

Actually its closer to two-thirds with men predominately the non-reporters. Manly because there are no programs to help male battered spouses, far from help as many will say.Ending Violence Association appears more to wish to end a mans ability to defend against spousal assault. With equality the catch phrase of the day why, or how, could they ask for the whole $47M when there isn`t a single safe house or program or government agency that will help male victims.

As the majority of DV is started by the women {emphasis mine. WTF} I can`t imagine the lions share not going to defend the largest group of victims that have nothing as it currently stands.Seems this must be something other than ending violence.

**********
Sure it is. This is exactly the prevailing attitude that gets families and women murdered in their homes by men they know and loved at some point. This is still why equality is a foreign concept.