I'm back in school, and back to writing articles. That means every time I check my email (compulsively) I am either overjoyed or plunged into irritation or merely ambivalent. I write articles for two reasons: 1. money, 2. validation that I am a good enough writer. I am also in school for two reasons: 1. to prove to myself that I can do it, 2. to eventually get a job where I make lots of money and enjoy myself.
I just got a great mark back from a very hardass prof yesterday-80% woo hoo! And at the same time got yet another scolding from an annoyed editor at my sloppiness--oh heavens, I forgot an apostrophe on purpose for a proper name because I didn't think it looked right! I am the worst writer ever! Grrrrrrrrrr. Guess which tried to ruin my day?
Whether we're aware of it or not, we all seem to seek external validation for simply 'being.' Being pretty, being a hard worker, getting up in the morning, going to work...It all seems pretty useless until someone notices you and says, "Hey I like your outfit," or "I think you're a good writer." I have a sneaking suspicion this is why I got married--what better than a guy who tells you how beautiful and how smart you are everyday, easy access?
(Note-he revised his gratuitous flattery after reading that constantly complimenting women on their looks alone is counter-intuitive to their self esteem. Now he does both: compliments based on looks, as well as flattering my sharp mind. Score!)
I also have a feeling this is why we go to dance clubs, proceed to get simultaneously annoyed and gratified when guys hit on us. It's extremely flattering but annoying, and when the alternative happens and no guys hits on us, it feels really odd. Validation for our existence is a tricky, tricky thing. I wonder if guys feel like this too?
Something to ponder...Up next, we explore schadenfreude!
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