Running the gauntlet of financial concern, dentistry, flooding, no job prospects--I feel tried even more than Job! I am waiting for the other shoe to drop (oh my head) woah I feel crazy deja vu, I've definitely felt this way and said it that way before. It might help me to list out a few of my concerns...
- Surprising $600 invoice for something in JANUARY!
- $250 Hydro bill
- Filling from dentist not covered by insurace= Cha-Ching!
- Flooding in my to-be-renovated apartment
- Dear partner not cancelling a phone service from January, and is still paying it--this is the second time we moved and this happened
- No job prospects, and none in the pipes--apparently a MA with a few years govt experience is very unhireable?? Please god tell me no
- Dear aforementioned partner determined to quit said well paying job. While I am still unemployed
- ?????
- Profit!!!
What to do, what to do? Part of me says fuck it. Enjoy what I'm doing now, and stop reaching, searching, feeling anxious about the future. The future will worry about the future. Let ''Future Susan'' deal with it, enjoy the horse (who I am madly falling in love with, he is such a good pony).
Current Susan? Is SO not ok with Future Susan. She feels lazy, uneducated, bored and absolutely adrift. Also, feels a bit at odds with current life situations--not that I want to be super busy with work, but something would be welcomed. Throw me a bone here, life! (tempting fate with that, as I enjoy good health, sort of good ''teefs'' and a darling pony, bunny, & husband).
So I am letting Current Susan and Future Susan battle it out. In my head. This should be fun...
So, I'm listening to happy music--even if it makes me want to cry sometimes--and enjoying my dear pony, who was a very nice ride today.
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