Hell would be cold Part deux

Yes, I'm issuing my usual refrain, and it's going to take on a particularly screechy note today. I'm stuck (oh and the other day I used mired, my I am feeling crazy today!) in the 'I no longer want to be here/doing this/living this/being me' feeling. And in no small part due to the weather. Something interesting I've learned: snow, particularly snow that limits my mobility by car or walking, and that I have to shovel in increasingly alarming large increments, makes me HATE THE WORLD.

Yep, I'm afraid it has to be that emphatic. I joke-threatened the other day that if it snows any more, there is going to be a real toss-up as to whether I shovel it, or behead someone with my shovel. (note: shovel is plastic).

So, with the darkening days and piles of snow surrounding me, the insidious crazy is creeping ever closer. Bright light ahead? Christmas in Costa Rica (again, oh spoiled me!) and a MOVE!~ Yes, yours truly has a chance to escape and is taking it.

But, in the meantime, I feel like I'm stuck in a snow globe of dismal days and I have this self defeating mindset that keeps ricocheting in my brain. It's fucking freezing, I feel vaguely psychotic and you know? I don't want to go to work. I don't want to feed myself. I don't want to workout. I don't want to write. I don't want to drive. I don't want to work on school. I don't want to clean.

Yeah, Susan is done. Done. Done. Done.