A little Sin Tour never hurt anyone...

So, as I have been vowing to do for around 4 months now, I finally took a tour of Whitehorse's finest, the sex shops.

First up, near the elementary school & Salvation Army church, is the 'Adult Temptations' Adult Store. An interesting facet of this window display is that they will change the outfit the blonde plastic temptress is wearing quite often, every 2nd week or so.

And she is often wearing a plastic outfit too. The shop is small and smells overwhelmingly like plastic, maybe even burning plastic. The selection for silly outfits and ridiculous nylons is good, the lotions seem to be plentiful and they even had 'candy necklace' bras and thongs for cheaper than I have ever seen them down South, at $9.99 for the bras. There was also the original Rabbit vibe fore $74.99, which is what it usually retails for (range of $69.99+) and some cute shoes and some clearly hooker shoes. All in all, a fairly welcoming shop.

The location is bizarre. So near a school, and we wonder why children are corrupted at a young age, haha.

Next, we went to the mainstay shop, the very large Adult Warehouse. 'Now offering clubwear!' is often seen in their windows, and yes, the clubwear is actually pretty great looking, but here? In the middle of nowhere? Yeah...

This is truely a warehouse. There are racks and racks of expensive lace lingerie, bustiers (no steel or whalebone, which is illegal) just plastic boning. Many costumes and 'fun' attire, some leather and chain biker-babe stuff and the usual alarming array of insertable items.

Standout bizarre item? Penis conditioner, 'Now with more placenta!' for an umm..invigorating experience?? Ick!!

Lots of ridiculous Bachlorette-type stuff, including a frightening blue and pink assortment of teddy bears with furry penises. EW.

They also had a lot of DVD's for sale and/or rent. Dunno if I'd want to pick up a rental, as you never know who's paws have been feverishly handling it...

Interestingly, the candy necklace bras were $13.99, a whole $4 markup from Adult Temptations.

Fun to browse in though! Never know what you're going to find...

Location is nothing to brag about. Next to a pizza shop, Bocelli's.

You are not "The President"

What you do during a regular day does not normally impact thousands, if not millions of people.

What you are quoted on in the newspaper does not destroy or shatter your reputation, or cause incredible concern. (Unless you really are someone of Incredible Importance and therefore should have some proper media training)

Which begs the ultimate question: As a casual journalist...

Why is everyone SO paranoid about being featured in a fun, fluffy piece about music or parties? It's not like I am saying they swore and made racially incorrect comments about a dancer, it's just for fun and not a direct quote for the most part. I really hate this overwhelming paranoia--it's a teeny paper, not THE NEW YORK TIMES *gasp* *faint*

Seriously, I get people I know quaking in their shoes that 'I MIGHT' quote them on one thing, one time, ever, that they ever said, maybe, one day, possibly, ever!!"

And panicking and freaking out and worried and asking me to never quote them ever because they are worried about their reputation and who knows who might read that you liked the band..oh my!

The paper in reference is a miniscule paper in a miniscule town of no real importance. I feel that your reputation must really be on shaky legs if you are having such a difficult time even talking or being 'seen' with a reporter once in your life.

So, for the hard-of-reading, journalists and writers are not the devil. We, as moral, regular people, do not intentionally misquote, take quotes and statements out of context and do not try to trip people up.

You know who trips you up? YOU do. You say stupid things to a journalist, during an interview, and you can't quite seem to reconcile the dummy things you said to what is written. Journalists rarely ever quote verbatim, to protect their subjects. That is a kindness, not a right. We never set out to destroy your precious 'reputation' we merely want a good story with some interesting quotes.

You do not hold the keys to Ft. Knox and are a Premier at the Ministry of Truths, so give me a fucking break.

Snarky but good.

So not only am I a feminist, but a die-hard animal lover too--go figure!

This was found, I did not write it but I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment. Animals, like people, are not disposable commodities that you can 'return' when you get tired/bored/sick of them. They are living creatures and deserving of love, care and attention. When you sign on as an animal's guardian, you do so for life. Their life, not yours.

Without further ado...Take it away, Craiglist!

Great News for Pet Owners in West Michigan!

After an exhaustive effort, I now have research to prove that you can take pets with you when moving!
Yes, it's true, and has been verified by many outside sources in the know.
This includes:
*Moves to neighboring states
*Moves across country
*Moves within Michigan
*Moves within the city that you currently reside.

It turns out that in every city they having housing that allows pets. So, the best course of action would be if you(the pet owner) sought out one of these housing options(that allow pets) instead of inquiring on housing that does not allow pets(since you have a pet).

I know, it seems complicated so let me use an analogy.
Example: If you are a smoker and want to rent a hotel room, you will want to book a "SMOKING ROOM" Now, if you call about a "NON SMOKING" room, you will not be able to smoke in said room.

Which is bad, as you are a smoker, and enjoy smoking. See how that works! Simple! Also, while my research is not entirely complete, there is strong evidence that suggests you do NOT need to give up pets either prior to or proceeding the birth of any of your children.

You can have pets and kids. Seriously, it's true...look it up. They(your children) might even learn some traits such as compassion, responsibility, and accountability(I know big words, look them up) if they(your children) are raised in a house with pets(the ones you committed to prior to the children)!

I thought my findings were just too good to keep to myself. So, pass them on to any pet owners you know!

Commercials Rant

Courtesy of your favourite feminist, myself!

First of all, I may be over-interpreting these but WTF? Wait and you shall see...

Fiber 1 Honey Clusters Cereal: Assholes can read your mind??

Features a British-accented man speaking over a women whenever she goes to ask a question about the cereal. Seriously, everytime she opens her mouth, he goes 'and it tastes great!' 'And it's full of fibre' 'And all you taste is vanilla!' 'Can't you believe it' 'Those are full clusters of honey!' 'You're thinking, am I a psychic?'

WTF? No, she's thinking you're a ridiculous asshole who can't keep one orifice to himself, thank you very much! People (women, me) DO NOT LIKE unasked for opinions. Particularly when the very clever advertising agency feels like women are so stupid they think the 'psychic' is answering their un yet-spoke words instead of just fucking cutting them off on every word. We're not that stupid.

****PC teeny computer ad**** Psychic men? Stupid women?
Now, I like these teeny computers, Acer makes a pretty sweet looking pink one and it is awesome. Do I like the retarded ads where a man is sitting on a park bench and a women asks him questions about it, and she NEVER gets to finish the thought/question. He interrupts every second with some asinine 'quip' and we, the viewers, are incensed.
"You're thinking, how do I get one of these?" "You're thinking, and how do you connect to the internet?"

No, I'm thinking why you can't answer a motherfucking question without trying to cut the woman off, you asshat!
"You're thinking I'm psychic, right?"
No, just a fucking rude dick.

Seriously, I have seen two ads of this 'trend' now and I am NOT happy about it. Stop it. Women are smarter than that shit, knock it off.

Movie Review-- Up

Went and saw Pixar's 'Up' this past weekend. I wanted to see the new Terminator, but my partner was fixated on the feel-good message of a cartoon old man and fat child. The story was actually pretty genuine in the beginning, particularly when the man and woman found out they couldn't have children, and therefore decided to focus their dreams on moving to 'Paradise Falls' in South America, a childhood dream.

They never make it and the wife dies, a little life lesson to us all, isn't it? There will always be time and money for the boring shit, work, braces, dr's, roofing, cars, but no money for adventure. Sad.

The man is now quite old and cantankerous. He whales on a construction manager and is therefore 'sentenced' to an old folks home, the ominous Shady Oaks. He is a former balloon salesman, so he gets a great idea--strap 1000's of baloons and float to Paradise Falls, with a fat boyscout clinging to the porch accidentally.

The kid fucks things up all the time and is a fat whiner, which alternately amused and irritated me. Kids always screw shit up, apparently.

The movie got kind of boring and kiddish near the end, and leaned heavily on the patriarchial shit like daddy issues relating to 'not being there for son' and boy scouts. Sigh.

The old man is pretty good though, and has a giant ridiculous head. I am still not sure if this was better than the new Terminator though. HMMM...Have to see it.

Product Reviews

Battling it out in the trenches so you don't have to!

(or, eating peroxide and coating myself with a slick shiny coating..)

Product 1: Crest Whitestrips Classic on sale at Shoppers for $38.00

Apparently 'Classic' is the cheapest version and doesn't offer a 'faster' whitening like the 2 upper levels, the priciest being the 'Pro' at around $60.00.

The gel-filled strips go on your teeth 2X a day for 30 minutes each. They caution you to avoid 'gums' and fleshy areas with the peroxide, as sensitivity or redness may occur. The strips feel kind of strange and made my saliva glands go crazy. No overt 'chemicals' taste but I know they're there...

The strips are also part of an experiment. I got my partner a cheap-ish 'gel' whitening product, we took close up photos of our teeth, and are comparing results after 2 weeks on the differing teeth whitening products. We started yesterday. Will keep you posted!

**** Product 2: Nivea Silky Shimmer Lotion*********
Looks really pretty, a lotion with a tint of bronzer to help you on with your summer sheen. In theory, a great product and I have always had good experiences with Nivea. Silky Shimmer hits all the wrong notes, unfortunately. Nice colour but feels like shit. The 'silkiness' feels like liquid cornstarch rubbing against your skin, slippery and tacky at the same time. It's a disgusting feeling and I am/was very disappointed by Nivea for this dismal product.
Do not buy it. Feels terrible for a 'silky lotion' ICK!

**sidenote, all Nivea products contain liquid silicone to help add softness, the silicone is called Dimethicone. There have been issues in the news about silicone and other chemicals causing health problems, and unfortunately, SO many products (all of them except natural ones like Kiss My Face, Giovanni or Burts Bees have Dimethicone)

Things Whitehorse doesn't have

But would be nice (or good)

Waterslides. Even if you only go once every 3 years, they are frickin' sweet!

Shopping. Of any description. I am not a huge consumer-ish person, but what they have here is just not cuttin' it.

A town nearby. There's nothing, within 5hrs, that is bigger than Whitehorse. No 'let's pop over to the next town for some shopping, or a night out' which really sucks and trust me, after living here for a winter, you'll need it.

You have to travel ($1,000 plane tix) to travel out of here. So basically, if you go on a trip, it's just a trip in itself to get the hell out of here. =$$$$$$$ out of your pocket, unless you are flying Air North direct to Hamburg.

There is only 1 horse show. One. Dear god.

Every riding 'stable' doesn't have a barn...or a ring...or an indoor arena..or trained horses. The calibre of equestrian community out here is pretty frickin' dismal. *sigh*

Electricity, heat, food, rent all cost an absolute fortune, on par with an actual 'city' like Vancouver or Victoria. ????? Why?? Oh, perhaps it is because people aren't meant to be living in the frigid tundra..even if it is 22 deg. today!!