New job! New horizons! New hope!

Yep, things are really lookin' up for old Susan!

Fuzzy bun is doing well, ponykins is healthy and up to his old shenanigans (unfortunately?! argh!), I have a JOB now, and my husband is back in town for the foreseeable future!

Now, these good feelings don't/can't last forever, but let's revisit Susan's hierarchy of needs, shall we?

From my previous posts, my hierarchy of needs indicate a few pretty stringent requirements, as well as a few more airy-fairy ones.

And, I'm well on track for ALL of them! Gloat gloat gloat! Life is good, I honestly can't complain. I'm very happy with things, my job is fulfilling and albeit freaking early and sometimes stressful, it is a good job and where I want to be going.

My pony is a stinker and a little shit, but so talented and adorable. My husband is back in town after being separated for about, oh, two years now? Oh yes, I do have it all! Phew!

Loving life!

Paletas Popsicles

Just off Blanshard, there is a teeny tiny tucked in the wall popsicle shop. They have every brand of fabulous, hand-made natural popsicle.

This includes rhubarb and cream, raspberry and dark chocolate, coconut and lime, coconut and chocolate, dulce de leche and chocolate fudge and chocolate caramel fudge...

It is HEAVEN! Drippy, delicious natural-ices heaven.

Sadly, this post comes late as they are closing down for the season, guess there's no call for popsicles come winter, even if Victoria is a sight warmer than ON or YT.

I'll miss you, delicious popsicles. I think fondly of your return, when I may try the rhubarb-cream, or have another raspberry chocolate. Yum!

I hear the night call

Saw the movie 'Drive' and wow.

I didn't expect to like it, and was barely interested in going at all (I work very, very early in the morning and am liking sleep more than social life at the moment...) but it is SO good.

It is an extremely brutal, polarizing and tense film. Words are not wasted, in fact, dialogue is limited to practically 20 words per character. And Ryan Gosling's character, 'the driver' doesn't even have a first name. He is a man of few, very few, words but a hero nonetheless.

His flawed, bizarre character is endearing and tough. The soundtrack to the film is unforgettable and incredible. I sat in stunned silence during the film, surprised at how captured I was by it all. It is slick, stylish and unforgettable.

IF you're expecting Hollywood tripe such as 'Gone in 60 Seconds' do yourself a favour and don't watch this. It's not Hollywood.

If you're in the mood for a dark film noir, breathtaking scores and a character to emulate, watch this film. It will haunt you.

I have also never sat in a fairly busy (not packed) theatre that has been literally shocked into a stunned silence before. Yes, the scenes are that violent. Shocked silence. It was no 'Saw' or 'Hostel' over-the-top gory glee, but a quiet, quick and horrifying violence. Nasty, evil and dangerous, it was uncomfortable for those accustomed to splashes of gore, not temptations of torture.

That being said, it is only in the last few parts of the film. It almost watches like two separate films, really.

Soundtrack sounds: to check out

Kavinsky feat. Lovefoxxx: Nightcall

Desire: Under your spell

The Chromatics: Tick of the clock ( don't really like this one)

College feat. Electric Youth: A Real Hero (very good)

Moving on and up

So, my last post "Battle of Wills" has been resolved and let me tell you, it's a long tough road...

I have been working with a friend to work on my pony's issues, and adding a supplement to his feed to handle his explosive, too much energy spooks.

And is it working? Well, he's still a little asshole, but I can ride it out. And, he is so, so talented. Like, unreal, which makes it almost worse that he's such a tough nut to handle. And I found out today that he was picking up his fellow horse's food dish outside and flinging it around, almost hitting one of his handlers! ARGH!

Cute little bastard though, gotta say. Those little perked ears and fuzzy nose...Innocent eyes and snort.

We're taking lessons again next Thursday too, which will be sooo good. Long time coming for us, as it's been a few months. Oh and hopefully planning for our competition season next year, if he can tone it down enough to go in the show ring again (after our disastrous first attempt, yeesh).

Fingers crossed things go well with the little pony!

Battle of Wills

I feel like I have this issue about once a week, maybe less, like once a month, but it's so epic it FEELS like once a week?

My dear pony and I have it out, in a most dramatic, angry and spectacular way.

Today was once of those days, one where I rode in literally a haze of seething anger, at him, my uncooperative, evil pony. I don't know if he just picks up a day and is like, '' I'm going to rear, spook, bolt, run backwards and generally be awful?" Or if he is genuinely afraid. I just don't get it.

I was angry, sobbing with frustration and furious, so furious at him. Rage coursed through my veins, and I had to stop and think for a minute-- honestly? I need to tone it down. I calmed things down, walked by the scary place, until everything became scary. We broke things down bit by bit, calmed down, nope, still scary. Still running backwards, still spooking, still threatening to rear.

I got off, and whipped him--something I'm not proud of, and was a doubly stupid move on my part because, duh, I was still holding onto my reins and didn't want to let go and let him go tearing off with my saddle and bridle at risk of being broken! Ugh, it was ugly, so ugly.

So, did the next logical thing; longing. If I can't win the battle, I'll win the war. We longed for about an hour, making his workout 2+ hours in length. And I'll admit he was much, much better when we longed, only one spook/freakout, almost fell while galloping, but that was it. And, hilariously, he seemed to forget how to longe on one side. It would have been funnier if I hadn't still been absolutely blind with anger at him...Ha, well it was still kind of funny then too!

But why these insane, lengthy, drawn-out battles? Why do they seem to happen when everything is going so well, and I'm so proud of him? We have a horse show this weekend, and I'm seriously considering scratching out of it. He was THAT bad today...We'll see.

Changing seasons

Well, after my rather gloom & doom post of Tuesday, things are changing, much like the seasons, or the tides.

- sidenote, I have a photo of a tide path area and there is a paving stone with 'Beware the Tides' engraved on it. It was wet. It seemed very ominous.-

I'm headed off to work again, and it couldn't happen sooner. Just when I thought all was lost, it wasn't! I'm so happy and glad to be involved in a career path of my choice, and a work location that is definitely going to be rewarding, challenging, maybe even crazy-making. But it's going in great directions, and I'm so pleased!

And, to that effect, here are some things I have been enjoying lately- in no particular order-

The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker

Community - DVD series

Marshmallow icing - Mom's recipe

Horns by Joe Hill

Heart-shaped Box by Joe Hill

Blood by The Middle East

Bassano hard sodas (yes sweet, but quite tasty. Enjoy in moderation, for your teefs sake!)

The Acorns

The Antlers

Enjoy!

And, I wish I had written this myself, from The Hellbound Heart... "The seasons long for each other, like men and women, in order that they may be cured of their excesses...Everything tires with time, and starts to seek some opposition, to save it from itself."

The Hellbound Heart

Or, the tyranny of time.

Now that I've accepted my slow descent into unemployed-slob territory (no, it didn't go easily, I had a major mopefest for exactly one day, and then picked up my pants and continued on), I'm struggling with what I term 'the tyranny of time'.

This is the issue of too much time - something you may say to yourself is a wonderful thing to have, like a holiday that never ends! Except when you're in it. The weather is gorgeous, you have a lovely pony to spend time with and no demands either which way. And this, my friends, is trouble. First of all, the weather is gorgeous. How is this a problem? Well, when it's this nice out, I want to be out doing things in it (riding said pony), but the problem when you're unemployed and everyone else is otherwise employed, is that you get stuck doing the majority of fun sunshine events alone. And the company of yourself, yourself and yourself gets mighty old. The fun of events and activities isn't necessarily sharing the activity itself, but of the shared experience.

I'm also fighting with the rather abrupt transition of unemployed-work-unemployed. It's like a bizarre sandwich of responsibilities. I get really good at doing nothing, then suddenly I'm good at doing everything - then nothing. I guess it doesn't help that my partner is away for another few months, and while that's all fine and all while I working, that issue of the pleasure of my company gets very stale after awhile.

So there are a few issues at heart: no partner, lovely weather, no responsibilities, increasing lack of motivation (this gets worse every time I am unemployed) and that monster of boredom. Also I am getting very sloppy with typing and spelling, and perhaps driving. Save me from myself!

I am reminded of song lyrics that claim it's possible to feel alone in a crowded room, yes it is, but it's also as likely to feel alone, with my burgeoning hermithood, in a sunny apartment.

And this time? That stretches in front of me for an impossibly long period? I will want it back, I will want to save it, hoard it and guard it jealously when I want it again. That, my friends, is the tyranny of time. I am in a place I love, with friends I adore, a pony that continually challenges and delights/frustrates me, and yet...

I am hard to please these days. I am so close to self-actualization that it's actually more frustrating than when I wasn't near it at all! All I hear is to enjoy it while I have it, but that makes me resent it even more. Unasked for gifts are the hardest to return.

Also my feet are riddled with blisters and I have a large scrape that is healing on my arm. The blisters are particularly annoying, as they won't allow me to wear running shoes right now and frankly, they are hideous. All courtesy of an interesting trail ride gone amok this weekend.

I'm still pondering what to do, what to do.